Trying Grandma’s Cooking Tip…5 Years Later

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My grandmother, Joyce Lewis, affectionately called “Mama Lew” was one of the best cooks I’ve ever met (next to mom…😊). She knew she was a boss in the kitchen and she was not shy about it. A compliment was likely to be met with confirmation that it was good or a loud burst of laughter signalling agreement. I believe she missed her career calling, but those whom she cared for, were lucky to enjoy the mastery of her cuisine artistry. Now, don’t think I’m greedy, but much of my memories of her involve food, as she made anything taste yummy and unforgettable. I mean anything, including ‘ton kaanmiil’/turn cornmeal.

One of my last encounters with her before she passed in 2021, was about food. Lying in a hospital bed as I fed her lunch, we got to talking about our love of vegetables. We shared which ones were our favourites. It’s a memory that remains etched in my mind; sometimes making me happy and other times sad. Sad because I never got to taste her cooking again and that she would never experience my feedback on her final cooking tip. So, what did I do? For five (5) years, I refused to cook string beans the way she told me to, to shield myself from reminders of the reality of never seeing Mama on earth again.

I had shared with Mama that I don’t like too much seasoning or dressing on vegetables (whether raw or steamed) but I think the string beans could use a dash of something in addition to the light ingredients I normally use. I also don't like the way restaurants prepare it. She said, “Next time, add a little ketchup in the pot and stir.” I said, “Ketchup? I don’t like ketchup on vegetables.” She said, “Just a little bit. Try it.”

In the last five years, I limited string beans from my diet because I would always hear Mama’s voice. Recently, I pulled up my big girl panties and decided to conquer both my grief and my reservation for condiments on vegetables. I wish Mama could have seen the look on my face as I tasted the string beans and carrots with “a little ketchup” (about a teaspoon), and laughed out loud at how surprisingly delicious it was. The best string beans and carrots ever!

Grief Triggers

Eleanor Haley, author of What’s Your Grief? Says, “a ‘grief trigger’ is anything that brings up memories related to a loss. Memories are where our loved ones continue to live after they're gone; this is why we hold onto objects that remind us of them and go to places where they feel near. True, when someone we love dies, we are always at risk of their memory triggering aftershocks of the pain. But inversely, if we let them, such reminders may also fill us with warmth and comfort. In time you may even find that the very ‘grief triggers’ that once caused you sadness now fill you with a sense of love and remembrance.”

Though it has taken me all of five (5) years, that grief trigger gave me so much joy. String beans are currently low-priced at the market, and I will be having more.

I have stories about "Mama Lew" for days!

Do you experience grief triggers?

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P.S.

I rarely drink store bought juice. Mom dropped off a bottle of homemade carrot and string bean juice last weekend. It’s my first time having it and it’s so refreshing! She says she recently learned that it’s a great drink so she tried it. Talk about a sign post! Until recently when told my sister, I never shared my string bean grief trigger with anyone.

God’s comfort is timely.

In the meantime, while we are on the subject of cooking, both Mama and Mom did transfer their kitchen skills to me. A round of applause for my Sunday morning fried dumplings that Mom taught me how to make. Every now and then, I get it right and as they say online, they look like they earned a doctorate. 😊

Fried Dumplings

I am Suzette Campbell